Self-worth, it's your sense of value as a person. It means to be deserving of effort, attention, or respect. If you've been looking for it in a number on the scale or the food on your plate, you've been looking in the wrong place.
But you're not silly, crazy, or wrong if your worth is all tangled up in your weight. And you're definitely not alone. You (and I) are the product of a thin-obsessed, fat-phobic diet culture where a woman's body is her currency. For years, I thought my worth was hiding in a pair of size 6 skinny jeans. I believed that my value as a human being was directly proportional to the size of my thighs. I was certain that if I could just lose enough weight, I'd finally be worthy of love and happiness. I was dead WRONG!
It turns out I didn't have to hustle and earn my worthiness because it doesn't exist outside of me. We don't have to work for it, buy it, or take it from someone else. You and I are worthy simply because we exist. Worthiness comes with being human! Unfortunately, for many women, our bodies (and the food we eat) have become so intertwined with our values, that it's almost impossible to distinguish one from the other.
Here's the truth: Weight is an inaccurate measure of worth. It's WRONG and we should stop using it because it's what keeps you in a constant wild goose chase for a smaller self.
And that's no way to live!
I hate to break it to you, but the pursuit of smallness will not sustain you. It will not enlighten you, enliven you, or make you a better person. It will only take you further and further away from your authentic self. I guarantee it.
Striving towards a smaller body just for the sake of feeling worthy will damage you more than you’d ever imagine. It will rob you of irreplaceable quality time with the ones you love. Deprive you and drive you crazy around those little baked milk tarts or creamy bite-size chicken pies you perhaps love. It will cause you to become a ‘homebody’ because you’d rather stay home than be tempted by foods you labeled as ‘bad.’
I want you to see that it is possible to untangle your weight from your worth and eat that chocolate cake.
Here are a few things you can do to get started:
1. Be Aware - Do you attach your worth to your size, weight, or food choices? Do you feel like you only deserve kindness when you've been "good"? If the answer to those questions is 'YES', go immediately to #2.
2. Do a Detox - Unsubscribe from, unfollow, and delete any and all newsletters, social media pages, and magazines that reinforce the MYTH that you're only worthy when you're at a certain weight. TODAY!
3. Go Deep - Ask yourself "What do I want my life to look like? What contributions can I make to the world?". These questions can help you go beneath the superficial layer of physical appearance and explore yourself.
4. Be Compassionate - Notice when you start to judge yourself or other people based on body size or food choices. Change the conversation in your head and remember that we are ALL worthy and we don't have to do anything to earn it.
My prayer for each woman reading this is to realize her worth and start to live an incredible life without having the urge to change her body or appearance to do it. There is a purpose for your existence, God called you worthy from the start!