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7 Stages of grief after miscarriage:

After a miscarriage, we have a similar choice before us. We can try to go around or under the grief, but ultimately it will not work long term. Going through the grief is the only way to get to the other side of miscarriage in a healthy manner.

Most understand that there are seven stages to grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression and acceptance.

These stages happen as the do, not in a certain order, they are not set in stone. For most people they happen in that order, as it helps them compound manage what is happening to them or around them, and for some it happens in different stages depending on your life experiences, past traumas and emotional abilities.

Regardless of which stage you are at right now, please know that God is right there with you and He will never leave you. I pray you allow your grief to draw you closer to God and not let it push you away from Him.

Our enemy, Satan, wants nothing more than to push you as far away from God, especially when you are hurting. Our enemy will use any means necessary to create as much of a wedge as possible between you and God, who is your only source of true Comfort and calm.

You are not alone. You are not broken and you are not the exception to God’s love. You are a beautiful daughter of the King, created in His very own image! God knows the thoughts in your head and heart, but He still wants to hear your voice speak them to Him.

Pour your heart out to God today. If you are angry, He can handle it. Don’t let your grief keep you from God.

If you don’t know what to pray, pray Psalm 139 to Him.If you feel lost and defeated, pray Psalm 121.If you feel weak, pray Joshua 1 verse 6-9.

When a woman is hurting but still has faith and trust in her God, she is very powerful against our enemy.

Our enemy only wants to steal, kill and destroy; Jesus came to give us life, and have it to the full! ( John 10:10) Don’t hold back anything your feeling, go through them with enough respect and time given for each stage as well as too yourself.

What helped me was to start a journal. To pen down my thoughts and emotions, gave me a sense of clarity and calm, in the midst of my own storm. Maybe it could help you too. Because once the thought is out of sight and out of mind, it feels a little bit lighter. I write my journal as letters to God, like I am having a conversation with Him.

And believe me when I say, some days are very hard and the letters are tear stained, other days they are one or two word letters only, but for the most part, they are full of questions, full of pain and acknowledgement, and allot a gratitude for what God has done and continues to do in mine and my fiancé’s lives daily.

I have involved him also in my small little therapy sessions with God, because he is also struggling. It brought us closer together and neither one of us is feeling lost or alone in this experience and loss, we support each other through the stages as much as we can and afford each other time apart when we need it. Remember ladies, your husband is also struggling, even though he does not speak about it or show it, but they also need a release or a way to cope. So why not cope together.

Love and respect,

Leatitia Coetzee

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