Brave girl, promise me, you will not shrink yourself to make others feel comfortable.

I read this mantra on social media the other night. Living this mantra is one of the hardest wars I

think we continue to fight as women.


Not your body. Not your intelligence. Not your humor, your dreams, your goals. Not ANY PART of you. Because so much of what we are told as women and girls is that we should be less. We should be smaller. We must slim our figures. Quiet our laughs. Diet down. Soften our intelligence. Starve and reduce and defer and decrease. I have spent so much of my life shrinking myself. I think many of you have too.
But enough. Enough of this.

Our self-esteem, worthiness, happiness, joy, confidence, self-love–they are our responsibility.  Never

put any of these things into the hands of others. Trust me, they will disappoint you every time.

I just want to say it does not matter what you look like.

Because you are bold and big in ways you probably don’t even realize yet.

You are worthy of every inch of space you take up, whether that’s physically or mentally or

emotionally.


You have every right to be exactly who you are, and no one should make you feel otherwise.

Your voice matters. Your feelings matter.

And your body?

Brave, wonderful, daring girl, your body does not ever have to shrink or change to make someone

else feel better. Their comfort is not your concern. Your own health and happiness, on the other

hand is.


It is all up to us. Only we can change our mindset, our perspective and our self-talk. Where

accountability and vulnerability meet in a lovely marriage of confidence, positivity, and

strong self-esteem.


Shifting our mindset takes work, but wouldn’t you rather be surrounded by positive energy vs.

negative?  I am willing to bet, that the answer is “yes”. Therefore, we need to stop striving for

perfection; it is most often unattainable. Release self-doubt.


You are capable of way more than you give yourself credit for. Stop assuming the worst will happen.

I mean, how often does the worst thing happen?  We must stop worrying so much; it changes

nothing and causes harm to your mental and physical state.


Finally, stop trying to control everything. We have control over little and when there is an inevitable

failure, you will only blame yourself. The only thing we can often control is our reaction to the things

going on around us.


"Confidence begins when you finally realize that you matter and that it is no longer acceptable for you to settle for less."

Anri Basson

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“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”
― Roy T. Bennett

Cape Town

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