How to accept that life will never be the same again...
Change is all around us - don’t let your music die
Flip the switch: Why change is the biggest gift of all
3 Ways: How to accept change and move on
While I was growing up, I could not wait to get married, get our own home, and live happily ever after.
Fast forward many years later: I got married to the love of my life, had three wonderful children and I am living my best life. Ten years ago, I decided to hang up my corporate gloves, become a Master Life Coach and pursue my passion to empower individuals and teams alike to become the absolute best they can be.
Was this the point where I realized that life will never be the same again?
2020, was ‘supposed to be the perfect vision year’, yet it became the biggest reality check of our lives. Loved ones died; the world came to a halt and the work environment was altered for generations to come. Is this the point where life would never the same again?
The meaning of life-changing
To change or alter is to go through a process or activity, willingly or forcefully for something, whether it is our home, our career, or relationship to become something different. Thereafter, our lives will never be the same again...
We tend to think that only life-defining experiences change our lives, but truth be told: EVERY DAY holds a bit of change. It forces us to re-focus, step up and adapt to a new norm without us even being aware.
Think about the last week of your life. Anything spectacular that happened? You might say, ‘a bit boring; nothing out of the ordinary, it was business as usual’, albeit working in a hybrid environment. You might even say that you were just at home. I want you to zoom into the week. Did you learn something new? Maybe you closed a new deal with a new customer, or perhaps you have met the partner of your life?
Let go of ‘the new normal’
It wasn’t an announcement of a pandemic, or an Olympic medal, or a rubicon moment, but whether you realize it or not, every day is changing and life will not be the same it was as before, yet here we find ourselves, talking daily about the ‘new norm’, the life we lost and things we are too stubborn to accept.
Life is an ever-changing flow of becoming, adapting, and accepting that life will never be the same again
Life is an adventure. You are the explorer of a world and you must find the daily treasures if you are willing to look further than forcing your own perception of normal.
Here are three tips on accepting change and how to not to be sad that ‘life will never be the same again’.
Say no to multi-tasking
We clutter our minds with so many thoughts and beliefs of our capability that we can multi-task. It is scientifically proven that we cannot multi-task and it is our mind that stops and go between tasks. Give it up. Rather do one task at hand focussed than dropping the ball between juggling the one task to the other.
Teach yourself to prioritize the task at hand; explore and observe the changes and the impact; you will be amazed at how many details you notice and the small nuggets that reveal themselves.
Mindfulness is the power tool of accepting change.
Gratitude changes everything
To most of my clients, I give the following task: Before you get out of bed, you need to recall three things that happened the day before for which you are grateful for. The trick is to not repeat something of the past that you have been grateful for. This forces us to notice the ordinary, taken-for-granted gestures, like a friend’s call, the suspension of loadshedding during winter, or even the slower rate of infections during a pandemic. Whatever it may be, it is a great reminder that life is changing and we are still alive.
When we focus on the small nuggets and teach ourselves to become vigilant of being thankful, we will notice the extraordinary gems of change with gratitude and flow with change instead of reminiscing of what we’ve lost.
Yes, that is correct, even the extraordinary gem of a pandemic has a positive albeit a challenge to see it at times.
From expectations to exploration
The expectation of anything in life is a guarantee for disappointment, yet we hold on to everything with a set of rules and judgment.
I grew up with expectations of my parents and I was sorely disappointed by them, not because they did not take care of me to the very best they could, nor the fact that they were dynamic individuals, but because I, for a very long time, had a picture of how they were supposed to be. I believed my life would never be the same, because of this or that they did not live up to my expectations.
One of my biggest gratitude is the day I realized to change my expectations to explorations and found that both my parents had hidden attributes I never saw whilst wearing the judgemental expectation glasses.
When we start exploring, we see the world differently. We EXPECT that there will be change and that life will never be the same.
We become excited about change and position ourselves positively, not to see it as a death sentence but rather as opportunities to become 1% better than we were yesterday.
Life is tough enough, don’t bring stubbornness, anger, and short-sightedness to the mix. Adopt the knowledge that we are ever-evolving and every moment is your choice to accept that life would never be the same.