“I NO LONGER SIT AT TABLES WHERE I MIGHT BE THE TOPIC WHEN I GET UP”

By Anri Basson

Can I get an AAAMMMEENNN!!!!

I used to think that to belong I had to sit at that kind of table.

I used to think that this is “just how women are.”

I used to think that I just didn’t belong, that I wasn’t enough.

DUDE let me drop my mic with a little Brene Brown talk…

“Our worth cannot be determined nor negotiated by other people.”

So if you’re sitting at the table where the topic of conversation is someone else’s shortcomings, mistakes, imperfections flaws, or lawed that he said/she said gossip…

I assure you that when you leave your seat, you’re likely the next topic of conversation.

GIRL, GET A NEW TABLE.

WITH BOLDNESS I share this…

FIND A NEW SEAT at a table of women who straight up ARSENIO HALL style root for their people to win.

FIND A NEW SEAT at the table with all the other not quiets, and all the other never get it rights.

FIND A NEW SEAT where confidence is served like cake, LAUGHTER is a side dish and conversations that raise the bar is the main course—and there is absolutely no room left on the plate to speak ill of others. It’s true this kind of table may be rare, but I assure you—dang there is always an open chair.

- This post originally appeared on Katy Ursta

The other day I came across this eye-opener. How many of us sit at this table or get drawn into this table?

I’m still in the learning process of surrounding myself with good and kind-hearted people. With supportive people and not people who don’t have my best interest at heart. You don’t have to have a big squad to achieve great friendships that are fun.

I know women gossip, talk badly about other women, are competitive with other women, tend to focus on the negative instead of lifting other ups and jealousy of other women’s accomplishments. I used to sit at this table, sometimes I got drawn into this table without even noticing it. And it made that quote come to my mind again…

So how about this? How about we not only stop sitting at these tables, what if we build tables where women lift others up, women create a positive change, keep it real, and have hard conversations making each other feel safe? And the most important one, women celebrating each other’s wins and encourage their friends and being envious of other women’s achievements.

I am thankful every day to have the most amazing little table of women who ALWAYS keep it real, tell me how it is, celebrating each other’s successes, and always making room for others. Take my advice on this Monday, leave your table if you are not happy and create one where you can enjoy happiness for life!